almost big enough

Last night my daughter woke up to get a drink of water. She then came and found me painting and asked me to tuck her back in. As I followed her sleepy, wobbly walk I noted that she was half of my height. When did my little baby girl get so big? Then today on the way to school, I asked her, as I do every morning, “Can I drop you off at the door or do you want me to walk you in?” She always exclaims with a bit of fear in her voice that she is not ready for drop off like “the big kids” and needs to be walked in. Today though, she hesitated. It caught me by surprise. She said, “Not today Mama, maybe tomorrow. I am feeling a little bit bigger lately.” Ouch. I have never been one of those parents wishing my children stay small and dependent forever. As a matter of fact, I have envisioned myself pushing my children to explore, travel, do that semester abroad, travel cross country. But still, today, I found myself realizing that the saying that time flies is too true.

On my way home I saw a brand new baby carrier box at someone’s sidewalk. A new baby had just been brought home from the hospital. Someone in that house was experiencing those sweet, new emotions you never realized were possible that only your new baby can bring. Quicky my mind flashed to my 23 year old self, 1 month out of art school and bringing home a baby I had no idea what to do with, but sure it was about to be the best thing that had ever happened to me. I could never have imagined how my life would change. These past 7 years have literally flown by and the feelings I had today as I walked an “almost big enough” five year old down a school corridor were as sweet as when I first began this amazing journey of being a mom.

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