right where I should be

I have a million things that I want to do. My mind is constantly buzzing with ideas and I never seem to have enough time to do them all. Yesterday as I dropped off some art to sell at Camp Woof, a very cool doggie daycare, the owner said something wonderful to me. She said, “Michelle, no one out there is doing what you do, your time will come for everything you want to do. You don’t have to force it, because the doors will open up when they are supposed to.” That calmed me down so much. We had been talking about a new dog boutique that had just opened up around the corner and how my art would be perfect there. I wanted to call and schedule a meeting with the owner, but I also knew that I cannot handle one more thing on my plate. And that felt like opportunity was passing me by. That is when I have to remember those words. “The doors will open when they are supposed to.” In the meantime, I need to focus on all the tasks at hand and just keep crossing things off my ‘to do list’ to make room for my ‘want to do list.’

And throughout all this I will keep that seductress called fear at bay. Even though I have all these things happening, I still can hear that little voice calling my name, telling me how it can all fall apart at any moment. There is not an ounce of evidence for that, yet still I find myself stopping and listening from time to time. Powerful, that fear gal, ain’t she? I have concluded that there is actually something comforting in fear and that is why we graviate towards it. She can keep us in all our old familiar patterns just by listening to her. If I choose to go forward instead, listening to my heart instead of fear, that is scary. But scary is not even remotely like fear. Fear paralyzes, while scary can be exhilarating if we allow ourselves to feel it. So I will put my hands out, blinded by the future and trust that all the scary feelings are leading me exactly where I should be going, in exactly the timeframe I should be doing it.

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