sighs of contentment…

Something must be in the air these days. It happens time and time again. I find that when I am going through something, so many others I know and care about are going through the same thing too. I have been noticing a similar theme in many of the blogs I read.

Lately I have been feeling content, unusually content, for me. Most of the time I am plotting, thinking, making notes, having ideas just bubbling up out of me that often I get overwhelmed and frustated when I can’t make my dreams (which are so clear and concise in my head) a reality NOW. But lately, lately a calm is over me. Now when I see someone else doing what I want to do I am happy for them. I am not getting jealous and thinking, “Why not me?” Instead I have been able to accept that my time for all these things will come – in the time they are meant to. Freelance design work has been pouring in and I am thrilled for it. It means I still get to work from home, pay bills and be with my family. I still have painting orders coming in, just a bit slower right now than most times, but that in turns means I can paint more for myself (see previous entry) I am getting together work to send to my licensing agent for 2 big shows coming up and am waiting to hear from publishers regarding my book. And honestly, regarding that, I am just hoping I get some postive critiques with my rejection letter. I am not setting myself up for that one!

And another REALLY exciting thing going on, that I mentioned a few posts back is something I am really proud of. Proud of because it has been swimming around in my head fo a year now and I finally did something about it. I called a local children’s hostpital and asked if I could come show my art to the kids and talk about my work and being an artist. The reception I got to this idea was amazing. I got called right away and was told how excited they were that I wanted to do this. One April 19th I will be talking to about 25 kids and showing them my art and bringing them the message that you are an artist if you believe you are. Simple as that. It doesn’t take a degree, or a class, or someone designating you one, but just knowing in your heart that you are one. We all are artist. Deep down we all know that, we just might be scared to admit it.

And if I was so busy marketing and being crazy with ideas I might not have made that phone call to the hospital. I would have kept putting it off. But I didn’t. I listened to that small voice inside me that said it was ok to follow where life was leading me and slow down. Contrary to what I have been believeing, life won’t pass me by. Life has definite plans for me and the only way I will miss out is if I keep ignoring that voice and trying to force life to go the way I demand it to go. Guess I had it backwards all along. Letting go of control feels so, so good. I hope I can remember this feeling when I decide my career is not going the way I want fast enough.

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