I gave a presentation of my art at a nursing home yesterday. I have a phobia. Of nursing homes. They scare me. They remind me that I will not live forever. They remind me that my time is limited. They remind me that if I don’t make the most of today I could end up with regret. I do believe it is an irrational fear. I know I live my life fully. I know I try to get the most out of most days. Some days I fall short. Some days I feel like I could not have possibly felt more alive. I don’t regret much in my life. I don’t see the point in looking at your past and feeling badly. I try to see what I have learned and move forward. Quite often that is easier said than done. Some lessons take a very long time to learn. And it seems like life can be passing you by while you are stuck learning them. But. But then you learn the lesson. There is that day that you finaly get it. And you look back on the painful times, the slow process it took and you realize that you did an increadible amount of learning and growing. And living. And once again we are reminded that the parts of life that go too slow for us are still so very necessary. How easy it is to tell a child that things are worth the wait. That they can’t have everything they want right now because then nothing would seem special. Funny how it comes just as hard for us adults to grasp that concept.
I had a delightful time at the nursing home. I got to meet wonderful, older people full of life and fun. They gave me tidbits of wisdom and I got to make them smile with my silly dogs. They got me. They understood when I said that I did this just to make people smile. They told me I was lucky to have found such a passion so young. Funny how I have been looking at it like it took me so long to get here. Perspective is everything. I am a little less scared of nursing homes now. Slow lessons, but I am getting there.