I have changed up my blog. The reason is that I am changing up my life. And instead of waiting for a sign, waiting for inspiration I am just doing it. Like it’s my JOB. If I keep waiting for it to feel exactly right I don’t think I will get much accomplished. I want to begin creating the life I want. Yes, I have been doing that all along, and I have had a great year in terms of my work but it is not what I want to be doing. I want to be writing and illustrating children’s books. I have been researching it for years. I know alot about it. But I have yet to do very much towards it. Instead I keep doing the safe things, the things that I know. Don’t get me wrong I do love to paint dogs, and do design work and paint murals, but the thing that really makes my heart sing is children’s book. When I go into a children’s book store I get teary. My soul feels as if it could burst with what I am surrounded by. My soul feels at home somehow. I know with all my heart I am supposed to be doing this. And I keep letting fear or this, or that stop me. I need to go after this dream of mine and see where it will lead me. I don’t know if this blog is to document my journey or hold me accountable to myself by putting it in print. I keep telling people I have taken the fall off from art festivals because I needed a break. I wanted to do design work because it is easier money in the bank. Both are true. But the real reason is I was readying up space in my life for my dream. I needed to carve out time to work on my book. I need to put up an illustration site for editors and agents to look at. It is not time because I had a dream or a divine moment – altho that would be nice!- it is because if I want this in my life I am the only one that can make it happen.
Tomorrow I am joining the SCBWI and finding a local chapter to critique my art and my writing. I will post here as I make progress. I willpost useful information as I find it out incase any one is interested. I am going after a dream. And it is scary. But I have always said that the difference between people who live their dreams and those that don’t is one of them finally decided to try. It’s time to try.