This is for all the female work at home-rs

Ok, you know who you are. Just a little shout out to any woman working at home or contemplating it. Let me tell you, and this WILL happen. I PROMISE. One day when your life is all sun shiny and you are all, “Wow, I rock. I mean, some people SAY they rock, but I really, really rock. Cause like, I am all coolio living my dreams and such. And my itunes is all cranked up and I have like, TONS of work to do and I am busy and bills are paid for the month and get this, even rent for next month!” You will think, “Does life get any freaking better than this?!” And when your dad writes you and your sisters and he starts the letter with “Ladies,” and your heart swells with love because your dad rocks. He really, really does. And you think about how so many people have crappy dads and your dad is like the most awesome dad in the WORLD and you love him more than you can express and you hope that he knows that and gets that and you think he does because when you go running with him like you did since you were in sixth grade it is still the same. You still connect with him and he still makes you feel safe and secure and that the world is truly a beautiful, lovely place, you think he knows it. But, I digress. When he writes and says that he just put the deposit down on the MOST AWESOMEST of beach houses, like the one you WILL live in some day, and he asks if we can all chip in AND for the first time in YEARS, you can ACTUALLY GIVE YOUR SHARE, you really, really think, “CAN LIFE GET ANY BETTER???” But. Then.

But.

Then.

Lovely talented, creative ladies. You will have a day where you wake up, and despite all the lovely splendor you have manifested in your life by believing in your dreams and having the balls (ha! ironic ladies!) to persue them, you know what will happen? You will awake with PMS. And no matter how cool, and together and awesome you are and how how awesome work has been, you will wake up and your body will betray you. It will fill you with hormones that will tell you how crappy you are, how much better you could be doing if only you worked harder, for those of you with children you will think that if you were REALLY a good mom you would go get a “real” job and take care of them the way society tells you you should, you will wonder what the hell you are doing and you will want to run and hide or get under the covers and you will have no desire to work. None. Nada. And it will be terrible. And clients will call and you will NOT ANSWER. Gasp!! And you just KNOW, that this day is going to cause your whole business to go under. But.

But I am here to tell you that the pms will pass and tomorrow will come and you will have to stay up for like 3 days in a row until 1am to make up for blowing off your day and feeling sorry for yourself, but you will be ok. Really. It will be ok. And all those resumes you sent out in your delusion that you could not possibly be successful working for yourself? Well, don’t worry, because the hormones will have faded back to where ever lost socks go and when they call for an interview you can say you are no longer looking for full time emplyment, thank you very much.

But really. It will happen. Promise. And don’t worry about that shot of vodka you did at 1 pm IN THE AFTERNOON to get you through it. No one was watching. Really. Who said working from home had no “benefits?” Heh.

Thanksgiving went a little something like this:

Walk into kitchen after 4 hour drive.
Eat.
Talk with mom and sister.
Eat.
Have a drink.
Talk to kids on phone.
Eat.
Talk more to mom and sister.
Eat.
Play with niece and talk with brother in law.
Eat.
Have another drink.
Play more with niece outside – teach her how to crunch leaves and listen to the sound, a favorite of mine. (she is 15 months old)
Eat.
Talk with dad and other brother in law that just got back from golf.
Eat.
Have some scotch that dad brought back from Scotland this summer.
Drink that slooow.
Help set table with mom.
EAT DINNER.
Clear table, make coffee, set out dessert.
Eat half a piece of pie before I realize I might ACTUALLY explode!!

Friday:
Wake up at 11am after sleeping 12 hours in a food induced coma.
Have a cup of coffee.
Run 4 miles hoping to help fend off the damage from the day before.
Drive 4 hours home.
Didn’t get hungry until Saturday.

Some days

Some days are so strange. Some days you go to bed smiling at life’s surprises. Then you wake up to a mess. How does this happen overnight? It almost makes me smile at the craziness of the world. Some days you can walk on a cloud right up until you walk into the printer’s door and realized some how, SOMEHOW you sent the wrong revised file for your client’s business card and all 1500 cards printed just slightly wrong. A $521 mistake. Somedays you take a deep breath and make it right and begin remembering how wonderful your yesterday was because of lovely and inspiring people like Tammy, only to get a frantic phone call from a client that freaked over your price because when you told her printing costs she assumed that included your design fees- which included rush charges for coming up with three card designs in one night and working over a weekend and promising your printer your first born if he can somehow get it printed in two days. Some days you feel like everything is still going to be ok despite the fact that you can never manage to have your entire house clean and straight all at once because your bedroom is also your office and your dining room is also your studio and you have two kids, two birds and two 100 lb dogs. And some days it rains all day long and you have to be driving out in it all day long and it is icky and cold and your windshiled wiper is kind of wonky and smeary and your blower on your heater is broke and you really did mean to get it fixed last week when it was unseasonably warm but somehow you didn’t quite make it. But somedays even with all of that you get the feeling that you are still going to go to bed with a smile on your face and a security in your heart that you have only just begun to feel recently and it feels good because you didn’t get it from anyone else, just yourself and you realize that every day has it’s bad moments and that everyone you know and love is healthy and happy and you are still, despite it all, getting up everyday and doing the things you love to do. And you realize life is getting good again. And it’s about damn time.

Today I am so grateful for:

1. My kids come home today after a long weekend away. Lordy do I miss them!

2. My new dryer that – get this- dries a load in half an hour!! It was taking me about 8 – 12 hours to dry a load before. I cried when my sheets dried in one session this morning. I actually cried.

3. That I have seen 2 fanatastic movies in just over a week. Shop Girl and Elizabethtown. They are the kinds of movies that just stay with you and seem into your heart. On a side note, Shop Girl is the first movie I ever, ever went to alone. I cannot believe how much I enjoyed it. I certainly will be doing it again. And I saw Elizabeth town with a great friend and we both cried our way through it. Girlfriends are so cool like that. oh and the soundtrack ROCKS!!

4. I have lots of work that is keeping me a bit too busy, but certainly so much better than the alternative.

5. I am so inspired to do new art that I have sketches all over for when I have time to paint them.

6. I am donating holiday art for fundraising to a woman that runs a dog rescue in Peru and also started an art therapy program for deaf and mute children in Peru and I think i may be going down there in June to paint a mural with the local children – and I might be able to bring my kids!! I am so honored that she wants my art for such wonderful things.

7. I am grateful for the extra warm November days. It feels as if I am getting one more chance to say goodbye to summer.

8. I am grateful that I paid my car off last month and I actually didn’t spend the car payment money this month. It is still in the bank. Woohoo!!

9. I am so grateful for my parents that have always been so good to their children and taught me what being a parent really, truly means. I honestly can’t imagine how I would have survived this year without their emotional support.

10. I am grateful that while I have no idea what in the world God put me on this earth for, that I get to wake up each day in a warm bed and can try to figure it out for one more day.