My grass is greenest.

It’s almost 12:30am. I have a painting to finish in the other room, but I am taking a break by trying to upload my Little Peeps website. I went the cheaper route and am hosting with yahoo. You get what you pay for. It seems uploading through Dreamweaver and seeing it on the server does not guarantee it is acutally overwriting the older files. Or my case is stuck. Or something. Anyway, too tired right now. So much, so much, so much. Clients with jobs still ongoing, my new website, flyers postcards, pr, signage, gas contractors, business licenses, credit card machines, art supplies, lawyers, accountants, gallons and gallons of paint….I have so much to tell about this latest grand adventure. What seems like a sudden move…”You’re opening a children’s art gallery and art school? Um, weren’t you just telling me you had someone wanting to interview you for a full time gig?” A moment can change your life. Seeing a for lease sign and calling just to see…But this art gallery has been in the works for a long, long time. I have dreamed of it, pictured it, imagained it all. I have been selling art for the past ten years and gaining experience all along the way. I have centered my career around my children. Not in spite of them. I have, save a few years when The Soph was a toddler, worked jobs that allowed me to be at home or be able to leave at 2pm most of the time. It meant lots of compromise and many, many late nights. Um, like tonite. And I have never, ever regretted a moment. Instead it kept forming me into who I am today. And wanting to show my kids that no matter what, we can live our dreams. Or at least go for them. Now I will have a job that my kids can come to everyday after school. And I like that. And they will see me succeed. And they will see me struggle. Perhpas they will see me fail. But they will see that life goes on. That it just changes. And you can have a really great idea, a really great dream and the very best you can do for yourself in this life is to go for it and then see what happens. There are no guarantees with this life. Some people are luckier than others. Or maybe it just seems that way. Some people might consider me lucky. But what they wouldn’t see is 10 years of working late, dreaming, trying, failing (A WHOLE LOT OF THINGS NOT WORKING) and trying again. And while I don’t know how this is about to turn out, it is a grand adventure. And I will be surrounded by art and children and people that love art and children. And I have so many amazing people supporting me and helping me and believing in me. And that feels really good. And I am relishing these late nights and crazy days (starting a business is SO MUCH WORK) because I feel alive and full of passion and I am confident and I am strong and I am scared to death all at the same time. But I am living my life the best way I know how. Going by experience and sheer gut instinct. And it feels more natural than anything in the world.

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