My Mess


I would love to be a neat person. Truly. I really would. I mean it. But I am not. I am a multi-tasker. I need it all in front of me at the same time. If I put things away I can’t find them. If I attempt to organize I can’t remember where I organized it to. The other day I was going to stretch a canvas. Where was my staple gun? I distinctly remembered putting it somewhere so I would not forget where it was. Still have not found it. Borrowed one from my other artist friend who knws me enough by now to not even question the fact that she knows I own TWO. When I opened this place I had fantasies of organization. Oh the fantasies. A place for each thing. I thought I would be so different. I have my drafing table for painting and my desk for design work. {note the photo now.} Ahem. But I am working on small paintings and need to answer emails or do some tweaks to that design project. So, um, well, I do it all at my desk. In this picture you can see my mouse, my cell phone, my studio phone, my notebook for everything going on in my life, my paints (yes I use the craft paint). Yes, it is a mess, but it works for me. It is my way. I am coming to terms with the fact that I might never be a neat person or an organized person. But ya know what? That’s ok. I pay my bills, I meet deadlines, I make my meetings. Opening this place has made me realize that there is no “right” way to do any of it. The right way seems to be my way. I have started to stop saying phrases like, “I am doing it all wrong, but somehow managing.” I still exclaim that I am a mess that will be figured out one day by everyone, but maybe being a mess is ok. I learn as I go. I make TONS of mistakes but I learn from them. I might look disorganized, but I know where things are because I can see them. I will probably always admire the neat ones in society, wish I was more like them, but I am really beginning to feel at home with myself and realizing my way is just as valid as any other way. I am a mess, but a successful mess.

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