I need to paint a portrait, revise a logo and work on a brochure today. It is cozy and rainy and i have my coffee with vanilla creamer. Noah is still sleeping because he stayed up late playing on his computer. Sophie and her friend who slpe over are in her room playing Polly pocket and listening to the radio. Life has been good lately. Still have all the same worries, still trying to figure out what I am doing with my life, my art, but life is good. Slowly I am getting to a balance, I think. I think I am moving toward my goals, but when you are not sure what they are, you never really know, right? I mean I think I know what i want, but maybe that is not what is in the cards for me. There is this fine line I feel i walk between holding on hard and persevering towards what i want and not holding on to tight to make sure I can see other opportunities that present themself to me. Blinders or no blinders? Which one is right? A combination of both? I love my life most days, never knowing what each day will bring. I wake up everyday thankful for the day and wonder what might happen each day. I go to bed and think about what happened that day, grateful most days and hoping for somehting else to happen the next morning. I am trying very hard lately to live in the moments I am given. So many good moments are out there. And those moments are there and exist no matter if I paid my gas bill that day, have an extra $20 or $500 in the bank. Moments that exist and are there for me to appreciate if I just decide to see them to have them. Like right now listening to the Soph play and the comfort of this little apartment that has way to many people and animals in it most days. Trying to notice it when I can. Trying to be going after what I want and worrying that I am not doing enough with my work. Trying to give everything I have to my work and worrying I am not giving enough to my kids. It’s all a balance. Some days I get it so right, some days I get it all messed up. I guess we all do. i hope we all do. Lord I hope we all do, can’t just be me right? heh.
Here is a pic from Thursday morning while I worked from home at my dining room table. I MUCH prefer my studio, but it was my week with the kids and I can’t always top work at 2:30pm. No matter how much I would prefer too.
Listening to Colin Hay, seriously if you have not listened to him, you totally should. Great morning coffee and work music. Anyhoo. I promised news a while back. As usual, life got busy and I am trying to get it all done so blogging takes a back seat. It seems my to do list gets bigger and bigger. But my greatest fear is to get to the end of my to do list. Lordy, what then?? Ok, just to let you know what is going on and what has me so busy: I have been asked to be represented by a gallery in New Orleans. While visiting there a few weeks back I was in heaven visiting one gallery after another. I wandered into one of them and started chatting up the owner. I noticed a Ron Burns painting on the wall. We began a conversation about dog art. He asked what I did, and, well you can tell the rest. I mentioned my Big Dog series. He asked to see it. I went home and sent him a webpage showing my series not thinking he would be interested once he saw the style. Well, a week later he wrote and said that he and his business partner would like to represent the originals and how soon could I get him 4-5 of them. And just like that a lifetime dream came true. So I am getting them ready to ship out, plus doing one new one – they requested a pug. So I have been doing that, getting commissions done, design work done, always trying to get new freelance in and doing the mommy thing which is really why I do any of this. Oh, and I just finished a big book proposal for my Rufus and Lucy series for my licensing agency. Won’t it be nice when any of this makes me money?? The only thing making me money right now is the design work. Which is the thing I want to do least. But it pays my bills. So I work all weekend long, plus nights. So while I work for myself I am pretty much the same as anyone else out there with a full time job and kids and trying to make it on their own in their sparetime. One day my paintings and children’s books will be all that i do, but in the meantime I thank my lucky stars that I know how to layout a brochure and design a webpage. But boy, I am ready to do what I want full time. I am very lucky that I manage to make enough money to keep my apartment, keep my studio, and pay my bills. The time will come when my passion for my art will take care of all that, i know it will. Patience is the hardest thing to learn how to have. I have recently begun to redefine success for myself. It used to mean plenty of money in the bank – which meant I perpetually felt like a failure. Now I realize that I am acheiving so many of my life goals, but it doesn’t necessarily mean a big payoff. But I am doing what I love and I get to wake up each day with the choices all being mine. It is not an easy life at times, but it is very rewarding to know that I have earned everything I have. Mostly I am so determined to teach my kids that this life is truly about what we make it. Ok, enough of this I will leave you with an illustration from my book: