I need to paint a portrait, revise a logo and work on a brochure today. It is cozy and rainy and i have my coffee with vanilla creamer. Noah is still sleeping because he stayed up late playing on his computer. Sophie and her friend who slpe over are in her room playing Polly pocket and listening to the radio. Life has been good lately. Still have all the same worries, still trying to figure out what I am doing with my life, my art, but life is good. Slowly I am getting to a balance, I think. I think I am moving toward my goals, but when you are not sure what they are, you never really know, right? I mean I think I know what i want, but maybe that is not what is in the cards for me. There is this fine line I feel i walk between holding on hard and persevering towards what i want and not holding on to tight to make sure I can see other opportunities that present themself to me. Blinders or no blinders? Which one is right? A combination of both? I love my life most days, never knowing what each day will bring. I wake up everyday thankful for the day and wonder what might happen each day. I go to bed and think about what happened that day, grateful most days and hoping for somehting else to happen the next morning. I am trying very hard lately to live in the moments I am given. So many good moments are out there. And those moments are there and exist no matter if I paid my gas bill that day, have an extra $20 or $500 in the bank. Moments that exist and are there for me to appreciate if I just decide to see them to have them. Like right now listening to the Soph play and the comfort of this little apartment that has way to many people and animals in it most days. Trying to notice it when I can. Trying to be going after what I want and worrying that I am not doing enough with my work. Trying to give everything I have to my work and worrying I am not giving enough to my kids. It’s all a balance. Some days I get it so right, some days I get it all messed up. I guess we all do. i hope we all do. Lord I hope we all do, can’t just be me right? heh.
Here is a pic from Thursday morning while I worked from home at my dining room table. I MUCH prefer my studio, but it was my week with the kids and I can’t always top work at 2:30pm. No matter how much I would prefer too.