Well, I have to say that 2008 has been rockin’ and rollin’ and if y’all need some extra good mojo, I am happy to send some your way, cause I got me mine in spades. In spades? Who talks like that? Where did that phrase come from? Really, should one use phrases that they have no idea where they come from? ‘Prolly not, but “off the chain” is the phrase that pays in my house now! “Hey mom! This mac and cheese rocks!” “Yeah, cause your mom is OFF THE CHAIN when it comes to boiling water and mixing in cheese powder!” Honestly, I simply cannot get enough of the eye rolls and “Mooooooms!” Seriously, if you are thinking of having one of these bundles of joy in your life? I simply cannot understate the awesomeness it is to make your kids cringe. More fun than a box of pop rocks! Children! God’s gift to us for getting through our own awkward years.
What? Whaaaat, people!? Think I am being a mean mama? I will dig up my stunning fourth grade school picture. Let me tell you people, possibly all my good fortune from 2008 alone is from the homliness that WAS ME that year. My neighbor, in a flash of what I can now only see as sadistic goodwill, convinced my mom that she should give me a perm. And that was the year I got railroad track braces after BREAKING OFF my two front teeth in a tragic HBO Rich Little Special Accident.** I am due people. Just sayin.’ And no, I doubt I will really put that picture of me up for all to see. So. Scary. And I thank God every night that he made me a tall girl. Cause back then? I was short…. and very roundish. With a mouthful of silver and a hairdo fit for a prize-winning show poodle. Oh the humanity.
So for reals, you need mojo? Let me know, cause I got it coming out my ears and I feel a little guilty, so I am happy to pass on the spades.
**Yes, broke them off. Freakish accident that is fit for another blog entry… Still have to get these damn fake teeth replaced every 8 years or so. DAMN YOU RICH LITTLE!