It’s Friday. Afternoon. I had a huge presentation to give this morning at work. It went well, but was exhausting. I left work and I picked up The Dude, ran to Publix for hair color (roots are showing) and came home. I am now laying on my bed ‘resting’ until I go get The Soph from her aftercare. She instructed me very specifically not to get her until close to six. They watch movies on Friday and are allowed to play chase inside. I dare not interfere. I should close my eyes and take a minute to rest, but really, my mind will just keep going round and round on all I have to do anyway, so I may as well be productive and update the ol’ blog.
This week has been a rough one. For many, many reasons. Most of which I won’t get into, but a break is very much in order. I realized this week that I most likely will never have a psychotic break due to stress. Because if this week’s events did not do it, nothing will. Trust me on this.
This weekend is the last work weekend for the big projects for the big arts and crafts chain prototypes. I will have to photograph the stack of illustrations I have done in what a month? I took it out to show a friend the other day and even I was shocked at the deepness of the stack. I really have no idea how I got it done. Done, I need to be careful. It is not done until the fat lady draws the last damn dog. Hmm, did I just call myself fat? I am a wee bloated perhaps, but fat? Squishy maybe, not much running in the past month…oh never mind. I will be done Sunday. DONE.
Tomorrow is my birthday. I turn 36. Will someone please tell me when I will feel like an adult? Or that I even remotely have my act together? I was sure it would be when I became a mom. At the ripe old age of 23. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! How about when I became a mom of two at 25? CHORTLELAUGHGUFFAWHARHAR.. Even now with two kids and a job that pays my bills and my very own car that I bought myself thankyouverymuch, I still feel like I am fooling the world. Playing “grown up” in this adult world when inside I still have that same voice I did when I was 9 saying, “Michelle, um what the hell do you think you are doing, you have no IDEA how serious this life stuff is, now take that flyer down and go watch cartoons like normal kids!!”
Ok, so the flyer reference is to when I made a bunch of clay animals, mostly dogs, when I was 9 and I decided that I was GENIUS and these MUST BE SOLD TO TO THE PUBLIC!! So I made about 20 handmade flyers describing my wares and inviting every Tom, Dick and Pedophile right to my front door – not only wrote my address but DREW A MAP. Mom put the old kabash on that and I was sure that she just did not appreciate the dreams of an artist! I was so mad and cried and cried and cried. It was not until I was an adult that I ever looked back on that little entrepreneurial adventure for what it was. Ah well, I always did leap before I looked.
Anyway, while I still feel very much like an imposter adult, I have to say 35 has been a pretty amazing year for me. I can’t wait to see what 36 brings. There is a meeting on January 8, 2009 for a large order of products to be placed with art I created with passion, love and just a little bit of crazy. Cross your fingers for me. Maybe my 9 year old dream of sharing my animal art with the world is about to finally happen. Without inviting every crazy person over for dinner.
And if all else fails, tomorrow night I will take a dog drawing break to put on a killer dress and heels and drink lots of wine and dance and eat and celebrate one more year of managing to trick this world into thinking that I am an adult or have any idea what the hell I am doing.