(I tried to post this from my phone earlier since I was in an all day meeting, but it didn’t work. So here goes again.)
Eleven years ago today, at 2:26 pm you entered this world. You were blue. Completely like a smurf. The cord had been wrapped around your neck and yeah, you were totally blue. And I wasn’t scared until the dude that delivered you, who was um, maybe TWELVE? Completely FREAKED out too. See, you were born in a teaching hospital and therefore they let Doogie Houser deliver you. Luckily the chief of staff was there to calm down the child that delivered you, then calmed down the mama that was all, “Dude!! My daughter is a lovely shade of blueberry, but um, MAKE HER PINK!!” And so they did. And you were fine.
Since your blue birth you have gone on to be the most amazing, stubborn, creative, willful, passionate child ever. You are exactly the child my mother wished me to have. Something about payback she says. You are a child that knows what she wants and will stop at nothing to get it. You will work harder than anyone else when you want something. But if you don’t want it, you don’t – and that is that. You don’t care what others think of you. This quality, is one I hope and pray you have FOREVER. Oh how I wish I had learned this so much earlier in life. Don’t get me wrong, you are not in any way a selfish child, you just know what YOU want and could give a rat’s butt if someone else doesn’t get it. You do. And that’s all that matters. I simply ADORE this quality in you. This alone will make your life so much easier and happier than you will realize.
Since you were born you have been my ‘chaotic bubble of sunshine’ and you still are. You light up a room and light up my heart when you walk in. I adore you more than you will ever know. I learn from you every day. I work hard every day at my art to make sure I can prove to you that passion and hard work ARE enough. Luck helps, but perseverance matters so much MORE. You get excited at all my achievements both large and small. You will probably never know how much that means to me and how the delight in your voice at my latest news makes me float on air. You make me fly, Sophie girl, so very, very high.
Happy Birthday baby girl. You are becoming an amazing young woman, and I truly don’t know how I got so lucky to be your mother.
The alternate title to this entry was, “Just in case I was feeling TOO good about myself, I went and tried on bathing suits.”
The beach trip: 6 days away! Bathing suit bought. Running for the past 6 months made the experience of shopping for it slightly less than horrific. SLIGHTLY. But when will they make those fluorescent lights illegal? Srsly. They are just mean. And maybe make me cry. Am I REALLY that lumpy? Really?? Sigh…
Where do I start this feel good, pat on the back, confidence building mission, you ask? Target of course! Because um, is there anywhere else to shop? I forget. I just always go there. It is like a bullseye beacon luring me there.
So there I am, pondering the color choices this year, turquoise is big, the styles they will give us – boy there are a lot of string bikinis. Do the buyers hate us that much? Have they not SEEN the average Target shopper? And while I have been working out? Um, I could not wear a string bikini when I was 19, much less now. Just not the string bikini havin’ body ya know? I like to work out, I like to look decent, but that food thing, that drinking thing and lack of personal trainer and a contract with Jenny Craig keeps getting in my way of oh, I don’t know, having Valerie Bertinelli’s new body. Just sayin’.
So, moving on. I am looking and a guy walks up to me and another woman pondering what we are willing to be seen in public wearing, and asks, “Ladies, what is a halter top?” She begins to explain, I scan the tops and grab one, “This is a halter top.”
He replies, “That’s what I thought! Thanks! My girlfriend said to buy her a halter top bikini.” And he walks away all triumphant and proud of himself.
I look at the woman. She looks at me.
I say, “Well, there is NO WAY IN HELL I am sending my boyfriend to pick out a bathing suit for me!”
She says, “I guess she has a great body.”
To which I reply, “We hate her, right?” she smiles, “Oh yeah!” And we part ways, but we had a moment. Oh yes we did.
I did go on to find a not awful suit despite how much the buyers and designers for Target obviously hate their shoppers.
I intend on all the margaritas at the beach to help me forget about the being seen in public part. heh.
And then I went and bought some tan in a can for my pasty white body. Don’t want to BLIND anyone with the glare of my legs. Cause, I am considerate like that.