I have a story about my daughter I want to share. First off, my daughter is awesome. The Soph is perfect exactly how she is. And I am not just saying that because I am her mom. Okay, maybe a little bit, but truly, she is so phenomenal. She is this amazing spirit that lights up a room. Since she was a baby I called her my ‘chaotic bubble of sunshine.’ Sophie has always been this messy, crazy, never-slow-down kind of a kid. When she would eat as a baby, it was a full body experience. She had to dive in and eat with her hands and rub it all over her head, her arms, everything. Sophie just loves to LIVE life. Even when she was just a baby with a jar of carrots, girlfriend EXPERIENCED that jar of carrots.
Sophie has never worried about being perfect or making sure she knew exactly how every little thing worked before jumping in. If she wanted to try it, she tried it. If she messed up, she messed up. Now, I am sure inside her head other things were going on, but on the outside? She took her bumps, her bruises and mishaps, brushed them off and moved on. Like I said, she LIVES this life.
She is an incredible artist too. She has always made things, always creating things with her hands. I often would come into my studio when she was younger and find some new creation she had made and left behind for me to see. She creates just to create. I love that about her. I am glad she does have an entrepreneurial heart too, I think it will all come together one day.
Last year in high school, we found out that Sophie is pretty awesome at sculpture. She has made amazing things with metal and found materials. This year we discovered she is GIFTED with clay and ceramics. She has won awards alongside seniors in high school. She has been asked to be in AP art her junior year – a year early. Girlfriend has legit talent.
But this past year has been hard too. Some really hard things happened to some of her classmates and friends. And Sophie is sensitive. She seems to absorb other’s pain. She, like many artists, feels so very DEEPLY. She ended up having some really dark months this past fall. And she struggled with not feeling like that happy, bouncy person everyone expected her to be – she was not feeling it and she felt like she had to pretend to keep everyone else happy. That is a rough place for anyone to be, but a teenage? Ugh.
She began to struggle with some classes and was just emotionally very down. Luckily, she was open with me about things and we dealt with it head on. We found an awesome therapist, her and I talk A LOT and she is doing really well these days.
During some of these hard times she made some mistakes in the past few months, as many 15, almost 16 year olds will do. Mistakes that aren’t horrible or terrible, but mistakes for which she is paying a price and trying very hard to fix. One of those mistakes is her grades in an Honors Chemistry class. Girlfriend is failing. FAILING. And she only has a few weeks to pull out a C. I got her a tutor, she goes into school early to get extra help, she is studying ALL the time. The problem is, sometimes, if you get to the game too late? You can’t save it. Soph, oh she is trying, but we have to see. Yesterday? She got an 80 on a test! THAT WAS HUGE. SO PROUD!
You see, Sophie has ADHD and phonetical dislexia. We knew Honors Chem would be hard, but if she focused she would be okay. No one anticipated the emotional roller coaster year she would have. She has never, EVER used her learning difficulties as an excuse. She never even tells the teachers. So right now? Trying so hard to make up for so much in just a few weeks? Is crazy hard. But she is doing it.
But you know what? If she fails the course, she fails the course. We will figure out what needs to be done. This class does not define her. A failed course does not mean a failed person. How often do we all feel that way? I hope she passes, I truly do. Mostly because this is a kid that likely won’t ever take Chemistry again in her life and this class matters very little in her true education in life. I really hope she passes though – because chemistry in the summer? Sounds AWFUL. Like a level of hell awful. Wasn’t that in the Inferno? I believe it was.
So we shall see. Sophie will learn and has learned so much from this year. And I hated that it was such a hard year for her and it was torture to watch it happen as mother, but I have seen her growing so much. She has seen that she can mess up, pretty big and get to the other side of it – get to the other side of all that hard and bad even when I’m sure she felt like she was clawing her way out of a really deep dark tunnel. Most of all she has learned that she does not need to be perfect. That perfect doesn’t exist. Life is a series of messes and mistakes and finding all the AWESOME that WE ARE as we navigate through it all.
Sophie’s light has begun to shine very brightly again the past few weeks – but it was never, ever gone – maybe just dimmed a bit. And I love basking in the brightness that is that girl. She makes this world so much more beautiful and awesome.
I hope you let YOUR awesome shine super BRIGHT today! <3